Enter, the Anti-Blogger
Posted by Mariella
Colorado Freelance Writer, Katharine Swan, posted a meme entitled “How to be the Anti-Blogger” in her blog.
Basically, the point of the meme is to provide “tips” on how to be a horrible blogger. Although I was not tagged, I’d like a take on the topic. So, here’s a list of ways on how to become an atrocious blogger.
1. Be condescending. Look down on your nose upon everyone else in your niche (and outside) and call them ignorant fools. Comment on every blog in your niche and tell them how much they suck. See yourself as the ONLY authority in your niche and don’t believe what anyone else tells you otherwise.
2. Rant 24/7. Rant about next-door-neighbors, your grandmother’s cat, the chewing gum stuck and hardened under your desk in school, the moss growing under your bed, etcetera, etcetera. And I’m not talking about the funny, entertaining type of rant, but the boring and highly trenchant ones.
3. Use big red fonts on black backgrounds with animation on the side. Really, make our eyes bleed with the “beauty” of your blog. Add some animated background in with an animated mouse pointer. Don’t forget to add in that background music.
4. Don’t do comment moderation. Let the spammers run wild and mingle with the real readers. I’m sure everyone will be happy and will keep coming back to your blog.
5. Fill your posts with affiliate links and nothing else. Write a two sentence blurb and a two page list of your affiliate links and sponsors. Fill your sidebars with the banners of your 10000000+ advertisers.
6. Be a bigot. Don’t let anyone else with a different opinion express it. Only YOUR opinion is correct and you won’t hear anything otherwise. While you’re at it, insult every single one who comments on your entry.
If all else fails, you can always go back to being a blogger. That is if you have anything to go back to. This is my humble list of how to become an anti-blogger. I’m tagging all of you to do the same.
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